greetings/reminders from here & now
It’s been six months of staying in one place.
I came to live in the quiets of japan thinking it would be a time in my life where I would live in solitude, a sort of monk-style of living.. of finding stillness and seeking answers from within. when I got here, I found it to be the complete opposite. I live in a house of 12 people and a baby, we have live shows and events every weekend, nights are long and mornings are early, and it’s quite a balancing act to find time for my rituals.
however, I am finding that this is the flow of exactly where I am meant to be. maktub vibes of finding balance between being of spirit and of matter. a part of me enjoys watching myself go through the humanly boggles of sleeping late, drinking beers, losing sight of time surfing smoking, and losing (y finding) myself in conversation rather than meditation. maybe I need to experience it all to come out of the other side with more compassion, understanding, and deeper truths. to be more relatable.
I am finding this time to be a teaching of connecting to spirituality through humanity, and connecting to humanity through spirituality.
I am rediscovering the layers, the reflections, the teachings offered by each soul. through each gaze, each smile, each conversation. I am unearthing parts of myself that can only be found through human nature, through this human experience. I am learning how to translate and live these understandings in the simplest, most relevant of ways. sometimes it feels like one step forward, two steps back. hell, sometimes it feels like one step forward, six steps back.
in these times, i’m finding that my thoughts and feelings are everywhere, all over the place. i’m finding that at times, the voice of the mind and that of the heart is hard to separate.
which are my feelings, which are my thoughts?
sometimes it gets so foggy that i lose sight of what’s what. feeling as though i’m traveling in what feels like steps backwards, mind unclear y heart at lost.
i’m reminding myself and relearning over and over (and over again) that when all else fails, I just have to take a breath and come back to basics.
to slow down.
nene, come back to your body.
come home to your breath.
if you can’t control your thoughts and or understand your feelings, come back to take care of what you can control:
take care of your body.
cleanse and detox. eat right. drink water.
stretch. meditate. move. release release release.
and all I can do is trust that in time, my thoughts will match the vibration of good health and self-care. of self-love.
in time, I trust that my feelings will become more clear and my heart will guide me in the direction of truth, in the direction of love.
this is my journey of coming home to myself, losing my way to find my way. trusting in the process. connecting back, learning growing forgiving understanding evolving, rising.
always with infinite gratitude and endless love
together we rise~ xx nene