Here & Now: Love from Bali
I haven't been writing much here or on social networks recently, let alone updated anyone much of what I've been up to and where I am in the world (sorrry friends y fam).
To be honest, there is soooo much I want to share, but for the past few weeks I have been completely stuck, facing a dead-end wall with writer's block..
The first few days of it, it was a bit unsettling and uncomfortable when I came up with a blank sheet of paper and a blank mind, because I had set specific intentions to write more during my travels. I would force myself to at the very least, journal about what I did that day or how I was feeling.. but I kept coming up with the same shenanigans about how much I had been experiencing but didn't know how to put into words.
On top of that, I was also feeling a bit wary because I wasn't indulging myself in my yoga practice or surfing as much as I imagined I would be during my time in Australia. So internally, I had moments of deep contemplation and questioning, "what the hell am I doing with my time?"
Fast-forward to here and now, as I sit in a cafe in Bali reflecting back to my time in Australia, I'm thinking about how amazing it was and how meant and in place things were. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
As I reflect back to the days in the land down under, living out of a wagon - where we were showering at beach showers, cooking our meals in public parks, having to decide whether to keep the windows open to fight the heat and sweat vs. the mosquitos and pests during our sleep, taking squats in the middle of highways, and the endless thrill of living on the road - I am now thinking to myself, "oh, well that's what I was doing."
I feel as though when I think back to those days, I can remember each day so vividly because I had been more present and in the moment then ever.
So, instead of getting on my yoga mat every day to practice balance, I have learned it through teamwork and living a fast-pace adventure of balancing "we" not "I", with my partner, Kent. Rather than finding connection and abundance through writing, I have experienced it through the kindness of strangers and the love and laughs shared with new and old friends.
A love sister of mine shared so much light on this whole feeling, telling me that,
"when you are feeling blocked, it's not time to write. Nothing should ever be forced. If you are feeling blocked writing right now, you're not supposed to be writing right now - you're supposed to be embodying other forms of self-expression, channeling your feelings and emotions, finding new ways to navigate this human experience. In time, it will come."
.. This is what I have been learning, word for word. And this goes for everything, really - not just with writing. It's a practice and endless journey of learning to find beauty in the present moment, to be content with where we are on our path, especially when things don't go the way we want or imagine them to.
And it truly does come in time. I am here and now, in Bali and slowing down my pace of living.
Here and now, I am finding different ways to spend my time, but same same living the practice of being present. It's been only two days here, and I have found time to practice yoga twice a day, surf for hours every evening, and make time to meditate and write more than ever. In time, it comes.
Until then, I am learning to soak up all the feels, finding magic in each moment, in every day. There is just as much beauty in the journey as there is in the destination (although, what/where is the destination other than here? lol).
May we find gratitude and abundance, filling our days with love and light, inspiration and insight.
om canti canti canti om..
(I learned this from my Balinese friend I made today, hehe. It means, "hope for peace, peace in the world, peace forever and always")
"God is everywhere and the extraordinary is waiting quietly beneath the skin of all that is ordinary. Light is in both the broken bottle and the diamond, and music is in both the flowing violin and the water dripping from the drainage pipe. Yes, God is under the porch as well as on top the of mountain, and joy is in both the front row and bleachers, if we are willing to be where we are." -Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening